Nabokov once described the region where I’m from in the Midwest as the three states beginning with “I.” My adopted home state, Missouri, is widely regarded as a “fly-over state.” And if you’re erudite New York Times columnist, David Carr, the only waltz we know is the “dance of the low-sloping foreheads.”
But I’ve got news for you jet-setting city-slickers looking down on us from the first class cabins of your coast-to-coast red-eyes. Once the nukes start dropping on metropolis, you just might find yourself knocking on the doors of us milquetoast Midwesterners. How come? Why not take gander at Google Maps-inspired website, Would I Survive A Nuke, and see how you and your fellow metropolitans will fair perhaps a 50 megaton Tsar Bomba detonates downtown.
If you survived, congratulations. If not, how about considering a move to my neck of the woods in Columbia, Missouri? Sure the website says I “live in the middle of nowhere,” but at least I survived the Tsar Bomba attack on St Louis. However, with the oncoming nuclear winter, I’ll need to brush up on my skiing techniques.
Bad news, though, should a dinosaur-ending meteor score a direct hit. In that scenario, we’re pretty much all toast.
[Via Gizmodo]
