It's a Small War after All: Marine Devises Strategy for Hypothetical Siege of Magic Kingdom

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Photo: Jonf728 via Flickr under a Creative Commons license

Cinderella’s Castle, found in Walt Disney World in Florida and Tokyo Disneyland, is an iconic architectural structure of the Disney company known around the world. It’s based on a fairy tale castle of fiction, so why not theorize on how to hypothetically overtake it in a fictional war?

That’s just what Sergeant Jonathan Kirk Davis of the US Marine Corps did on Quora. In a military campaign dubbed “Operation It’s a Small War After All,” he explains in detail how to overtake the Magic Kingdom — using modern warfare technology because “fortifications defending the Magic Kingdom and housing its troops was built with modern technology and therefore should be also considered a target for modern warfare.”

Sgt. Davis continues:

“A ground must be chosen in which you can quickly secure a foothold into the Magic Kingdom. This position must be easily accessible for the invasion force, provide cover and concealment for the troops and give strategic advantage once taken while depriving the enemy of the same. For this mission, I choose the area outside the tracks, between Tomorrowland and Main Street USA. Consideration must be taken to ensure we are not spotted by the monorail.”

Two infantry companies would then lead the charge, one through Tomorrowland, and one through Main Street, USA — while being cautious of any futuristic traps or attacks in underground tunnels. Once those areas are fortified, the attack comes not from the front of Cinderella’s Castle, but from behind. Sgt. Davis states:

“The most obvious route is to take on the castle through the Mainstreet. This is what they want you to think and will result in the sure death of you and your men. The front of the castle is lined with a moat and the counterattack will be an easy matter if they blow the bridge and your men stand helpless staring at the statue of Walt as they are taken out one by one. Go through Fantasyland and attack the castle in the rear. There is no moat and the defenses are much weaker.”

Once the castle’s defenses are occupied in Fantasyland, the companies stationed in Main Street, USA charge from the front, eventually taking control of the structure.

READ MORE: Man Creates a Winter Wonderland Out of Ice in Colorado (Video)

As fun and good-humored this all sounds, I’d like to add a bit of advice to Sgt. Davis’ military strategy: simply wait to attack after midnight, when all of Cinderella’s defense vehicles have turned back into pumpkins.

Read USMC Sgt. Jon Davis’ full plan of attack in detail (in his own words, with maps) at Quora.

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