If you've ever thought to yourself, "I worry for my country," perhaps you should. The real estate blog Estately recently assigned itself the task of looking, by state, at what's on America's Google-searching mind.
The results suggest that the United States has a collective brain filled with ... let's call them highly distinctive concerns.
Bear in mind the study was done by starting with a search term -- say, jazzercise -- and then seeing which state was querying that term the most (Nebraska was feeling the jazziest, in that example).
With that caveat safely in place, here are some of the findings ...
Care to guess which state is thinking the most about the phrase "meat is murder"? It's California! That suggests that either the state is tops for vegetarians or it's pining for the late-1980s British band The Smiths.
California is also wondering, more than any other state, what Siri looks like. But, really, who isn't?
Meanwhile, there might be something horribly wrong with the state of tattoo artistry in Nevada, as that state searches the most on "tattoo removal."
Perhaps that's less about the tattoo artists than it is about tattoo recipients. They could be the desperate web searches of remorseful people waking up on the morning after and wondering "when did I do THAT?"
Washington State is curious about tattoos, too. More than any other state, it has its heart set on getting a "unicorn tattoo." Moving right along ...
The prison business must be booming down in Arizona; it has locked up the prize for searches on conjugal visits. The state is, naturally, also the most concerned about scorpion stings.
Speaking of animals, West Virginia has won the battle over which state is most curious about ferrets, Maine has cornered the market on "cat pics" queries, and don't even try to top Idaho for Bigfoot questions.
Of course, altering its own consciousness is never far from the American mind. New York state seems to be tops in the union for information about "glue sniffing," while Montana bests all in curiosity about "meth."
Some results make eminent sense. Which state was most curious about Delaware? That would be Delaware. Score one for state pride.
If you're wondering which state was most interested in "mail order brides," Alaska takes the wedding cake. (Hey, it gets cold up there.)
Finally, here's an easy one. Which state searches most on UFOs? New Mexico, of Roswell fame and what we might call the country's cradle of extraterrestrial inquiry.
Estately provides a look at some also-ran search terms, as well. They can be found here.