I am jealous of the slingjaw wrasse (Epibulus insidiator).
We humans are pitiful, prissy eaters by comparison. In order for me to eat a meal, I not only have to sit at a table, but manipulate utensils to cut food into manageable bites and then guide them into my mouth. If I had one tenth of the slingjaw's freakish ability to suck up its dinner, I'd be able to clear out half an Olive Garden without leaving the lobby. Imagine the possibilities! Bowl of chips across the room? No need to get up, just ready, aim, SHLURP! Munch munch munch...
Why, nature? Why did you have to endow us with big brains, the ability to create wonderfully amazing foods, and not the lips to be able to suck them up from afar? Yes, I am jealous of the slingjaw wrasse, and all of the fishes who are much, much better at eating than I.
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