Pimp Your Own Ride With These Sweet Auto Accessories

//
Credit: bucklava/Flickr

If there’s anything one thing that communicates just how much your existence is worth relative to everyone else around you, it’s your car. Or at least that’s true if you’re still a student looking to make your stock car a little slicker with a few modifications.

Any modding maniac already knows the typical tricks of the trade: body kits, custom grills, lights, rims and spoilers. If you’ve already hooked up your speakers, wired in your neons and rigged your hydraulics, but still feeling like your car is missing something — perhaps a finishing touch of class — check out these auto accessories to spiff up your whip.

Luxury Hood Ornament

A Rolls Royce complete with the Spirit of Ecstasy on its hood may out be out the reach of most drivers, particularly any model featuring the diamond-encrusted version of the hood ornament.

But you can at least trick your less auto-savvy friends and work colleagues into thinking you drive a Rolls by picking up a (slightly used) hood ornament and attaching it to the hood of your car.

Of course, buying the figure itself is out of your price range, you could always pick up a photographic print of the Rolls Royce’s mascot and simply tape it over your car’s existing logo.

In-Car Espresso Maker

Stopping for coffee on the way to work can cost you valuable time that you could be spending stalled in traffic only to walk through the door of your office five minutes late. If you want to be able to show up to the meeting that will give you the promotion to earn you the raise to buy more modifications to your car, you’re going to need an edge.

An in-car espresso maker, called the Handpresso, could be the answer. In the time you’d usually spend honking your horn and grinding your teeth during your morning commute, you could enjoy a cup of coffee — or a lap full of scalding water if you’re on a bumpy road.

Either way, you’re bound to shave minutes off your commute from that manic drive that’s sure to result from using this product.

Programmable In-Car LED

The communications revolution that started in the 20th century has mostly succeeded in connecting people to one another. But when it comes to getting drivers to reach one another on the road, our options are still essentially in the Stone Age.

With the exception of the car horn and a limited range of hand gestures, mostly used to communicate dissatisfaction with the driving abilities of another motorist, drivers have no means of talking to one another. A programmable LED display that conveys short messages and easy-to-understand facial expressions could be the first step in improving car-to-car communications.

This technology is surprisingly totally absent from cars on the road today, so anyone who buys into the system now will be an early adopter. It’s almost like being the first person to sport a Bluetooth headset all the time before everyone else started doing it.

Ticket Avoidance Technology

What makes the “top secret” Audi R8 Blackbird such a great car is not just its sleek design or impressive performance. The Blackbird is such a cool car because of all the technology in the car intended to prevent the driver from getting a ticket — most of which could be bought for other cars.

While you might not be able to buy a “liquid-cooled infrasonic wave pulse generator, you can buy GPS units with red light cameras and speed traps labeled, radar detectors, laser detectors, laser scramblers, police scanners and switchable rear lights, all of which come with the Blackbird, according to TechCrunch’s Matt Burns.

World’s Most Expensive Bumper Sticker

Drivers often like to express their superiority to other motorists on the road by communicating simple messages in bumper sticker on their cars, mostly related to the academic success of some of their passengers. But you don’t need to be an honor student to know that really the best bumper sticker — and therefore the best car with the best driver — is the one that’s most expensive.

At a totally arbitrary cost of $355 for an ordinary small green sticker, this work of bumper art, on which is written “This is the Most Expensive Bumper Sticker in the World,” lets everyone else on the road know that your spending priorities aren’t entirely reasonable. But they’ll still be jealous as you ride along, ideally with the receipt for the sticker in the your rear window, letting them know who’s king of the road.